Monday, March 3, 2014
If you would have said to me 15 years ago that I would have a blog today i would have said you were crazy. First of all, I was one of the worst spellers in my class in High school. To compound the problem, my grammar was horrible. I loved the written word and I was always reading; however, my spelling was still atrocious. I left high school and went to college to study English. You would have thought that I would have had a clue and chosen a different field. Years later, I sit in a dark room and write posts for my blog and sometimes, just sometimes I am paid to do just that.
Why am I sharing all of this?
We often limit ourselves based on our perceived weaknesses. We often allow these weaknesses to create shame and self doubt in us. Often, this results in us barely scraping the surface of our potential. We often give up before we even begin. I have come to realize that no one is perfect; even the people we admire and put on a pedestal. I believe it is utter madness to try and be prefect because human means we are imperfect.
Instead, I suggest that we focus on using our weaknesses as strength. One of the ways I was able to overcome the shame of being horrible at grammar and a poor speller is to be honest about it. The more I shared my experiences the more I was able to grow and address my problem in a healthy way. I was able to say to my peers that this is my problem so if I make a mistake let me know. I am not going to lie; it was hard to admit that someone who studied English at the college level had a problem with the grammar of the language. This was one of the ways I was able to deal with the self doubt, shame and the downright feelings of feeling dunce. Through this, I was able to motivate others with the same problems and issues. I don’t think I would have had the courage to start blogging if I had not been able to deal with my challenges. My grammar is still not perfect; however, it has improved.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Men's and women's natural tendencies complement one another nicely, creating solid incentives for pairing-up to tackle life's challenges. Of course everyone is different and couples create countless scenarios, but common threads weave their ways through most relationships shared by men and women.
While each gender brings something to the table, men are the biggest benefactors in most pairings; trading sensitivity and understanding for manly traits like stoicism and brute strength. Whether mothers, wives or daughters; there are plenty of reasons for men to respect women, including the following:
Women See Things in ways Men Can't - Women carry a unique perspective that's hard to put a finger on, at times. Perhaps explained by the fabled "women's intuition", they just have a knack for getting to the heart of the matter, without requiring a logical progression of ideas or actions to arrive there. Not that they don't lean on perception and observation like men do, but women somehow seem as though they'd be fine with or without a great deal of forethought.
Men do Better with Women's Support - The old adage holds true for a reason: Behind every great man, there really is a great woman. More often than not, men reach greater levels of fulfillment in their lives, when partnered with strong and understanding women. Whether career ambitions or child-rearing duties, men with female support embark more confidently toward success - perhaps explaining the phenomenon.
They are Mothers - Men share close bonds with their mothers, in much the same way "daddy's little girls" hold special places with fathers. You don't need to be a "mama's boy" to appreciate women on a maternal level, though. The experiences you've shared with mom are enough to carve out an everlasting bond. And you are ever-indebted for her efforts - not the least of which is bringing you into the world.
Mirror Image of Men - In many ways, men and women occupy opposite ends of the spectrum. Physically, emotionally and motivationally; men and women are like night and day. Men's respect for women acknowledges it, and salutes women for filling in the blanks where men fail to see the light.
Women are Smarter - More than just lyrics to an old folk song, women carry unique understanding that eludes men. While it is hard to quantify smarts, it is safe to say women bring insight to the table, which might otherwise escape male audiences.
Compassionate Beings - Empathy and compassion are much-admired traits held by women; especially by men who sometimes need sensitivity training. Women seem to care about others more than men do, at times, so men respect them for getting in-touch with their feelings.
Born Nurturers - In addition to abstract commitments to others, women actually do something about it. Tapping maternal instincts and kind dispositions, women start nurturing others at young ages. Girls help siblings and parents, and then grow up to nurture their own children. Men respect women's ability to take-on nurturing roles without hesitation.
Women are Strong Negotiators - Men are called on to bargain with car dealers and make sure no one gets ripped off by the furnace repair man, but it is actually women who shine brightest during negotiations. Stopping short of manipulation, good-hearted women influence others to see things as they do, yielding compromise and progress faster than men who draw lines in the sand.
Spiritual Strength - Men admire women for strong spiritual connections they develop over the course of their lives. Women earn additional respect for applying their strength of spirit in meaningful ways; through charity and outreach.
Unselfish Actions - Women prove worthy of respect time and time again, engaging in unselfish acts of kindness, at the drop of a hat. As daughters, mothers and mates; women contribute immeasurable positive influences to the lives of those around them.
Men love and respect women for countless personal reasons, but universal adoration stems from some of women's most endearing traits. Men need not look far for worthy reasons to respect their female counterparts.
This is a guest post by Sarah Brooks from free people search. She is a Houston based freelance writer and blogger. Questions and comments can be sent to brooks.sarah23 @ gmail.com.
Sunday, February 23, 2014
I am 31 now but when I started this blog I was 28. I remember vividly dreading the onset of 30 like yesterday. I feared the idea of getting old like everyone else. I also remember conjuring up pictures of my life slipping away like sand in an hourglass. Three plus years later I can proudly say that I have adjusted well to the BIG 3-0. If anything I must day that I am more thankful to be 30 plus. As I skip through my mental file of my 20’s I cringe; my 20’s was a period where I seemed to stumble around not knowing who I was or my place in the world. I have always been blessed with an internal compass that always charted where I was and where I wanted to go and what I needed to do to get where I needed to be. Therefore, my sense of direction was always on point.
However, I don’t think I was really ever comfortable in my skin as I am today. I have learnt to be me, accept me and understand my limitations. Anybody who knows me knows I walk to the beat of my own drums. Simply put, I am weird. I have realized that my 30’s have allowed me to accept the fact that I don’t have to fit into that tiny box that society dictates. I have now completely given up on fashion trends and what’s in or out. I buy want I like and what I feel comfortable in. I do worry about looking like the latest trends in a magazine or in a music video. If I feel like wearing slippers and socks I will. I have learnt that self acceptance is very important. When I say this, I do not mean that I have given working on my faults or areas of weakness. Nor do I mean that I do not take advice or correction from my peers. In short, I have come to understand my imperfections for what they are and often I have come to appreciate that I am perfectly imperfect.
Monday, February 10, 2014
I know that life can change in a heartbeat. However, before i was afraid of change. To be honest change of any kind use to terrify me. Yet, now it seems like change is my new best friend. I find myself taking long walks, having nice dinners and beautiful days with Change. I have fallen in love with Change's character, complexities and innovative ways. In short, Change steals my breathe with her beauty and often complicated essence. 'Her' you might ask? Yes, Change most definitely is a woman. If you think about it change can be temperamental, moody, heartrending and in the same breathe a delicate flower. Just like a woman.
Change is often wise. If anything I have learnt with my encounter with Change is that she is constant. She cannot be stopped. She is often a wind sweeping the desert floor with her soothing lips or a fierce tsunami destroying everything in her path. So in short dear friends, change can be good or bad. It is up to you to decide.